Tuesday Interweb Round-Up

• Actual CNN headline: "Bush heads to Texas; Residents urged to leave" [Wonkette]
• According to one of his economic advisors, John McCain invented the BlackBerry! But he still doesn't know how to use "the Google." Hmmm. Hmmm! Hmmm? [The Caucus]
• Some guy is running around slapping his greased up cock on windows in Kansas. Hilarious. [Perez Hilton]
• The creators of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia give a damn funny interview to promote the new season starting on Thursday. [AV Club]
• John McCain = Daniel Plainview [Wonkette]
• Some sort of "professional recording artist" butchered the National Anthem before last night's Monday Night Football game. She must be a "professional recording artist" in the William Hung-variety. [Perez Hilton]
• Despite our economy collapsing, the most worrisome news this week is that FOX has greenlit a new animated series created by Jeff Foxworthy centered around NASCAR. It is the end of the world as we know it. [Variety]